Monthly Archives: June 2017

Strong Family Ties

Ever since life came on earth it started with coming together in company of each other. When God created Adam he also created Eve for companionship and thus a relationship started and a family was created. It is not only humans who have relationships and family but animals too are seen to have a family. Have you ever noticed male and female animals looking after their little ones and collecting food for them? A family bond started with the very begging of life on earth. A family is very crucial for a human being. A strong family bond is what we all humans want.

To have and maintain strong family ties the seniors in the family have to make extra efforts. It is very important to know what one wants in life and what the family as a whole expects from the different members. As the couple come together to start a family they should try to figure out what they want out of their family life. They should share their goals and dreams.

The problem starts from not giving time to each other due to various reasons. Couples often do not get enough time to interact with each other and know about the problems they are undergoing. The couples are so busy in their career that they do not give quality time to each other and the children. Taking out time for each other and the family is very important to keep the family ties intact. If you spend time with your family it is only then you will understand each other well and be on familiar terms with each other. It’s only then you will understand what your family expects from you.

No one can weave a family well if no attention is given to children. Children are an essential part of the family; they are the ones who require the most attention. To bring up children with complete understanding and maturity is a difficult task. You have to work hard towards your children to not let them involve into nasty habits that would harm them. Communication is one great instrument to get close to your children and build a friendly relationship with them. Parents must work hard and converse to make children understand what their family is all about. Share incidents about your good and bad phases in life with them so that they have a better understanding of a strong family connection and life which they are to begin. Tell your young ones those stories about your parents and grand parents, about your family ties and relationship with them.

Friendship is what gets people close to each other. Always have a friendly relationship with your partner and children for a happy family. Never behave in a manner that will discourage your children to open up with you. Be frank and give your children complete information on the queries they have. To consider them to be too young to discuss on certain topics is wrong. You should help them understand sensitive subjects in the best possible way so that they get a clear picture of the subject. This will not only help your children take mature steps in life but also build a strong relationship with you as they know that you are there every moment to help and support them.

Family Relationship Problems

One of the most difficult matters to confront when it comes to family relationships is that you don’t have complete control over it. You cannot control another member of your family. You can’t change them and you can’t fix them and you can’t make them be like you. It takes at least two to tango.

Sometimes you can get another member of your family to change but I wouldn’t count on it. Another option is to accept them just the way they are. This can cause resentment, if your needs are not being met by this person or especially if this person steps over your boundaries.

A third option exists and that is to change yourself in a way that solves the problem. In this case, you need to redefine the problem as an internal one instead of an external one. Your solution will then take the form of an expansion of your awareness as you change your beliefs.

When someone upsets you or causes you frustration, they are reflecting back to you a part of yourself that you dislike. I always say that when someone annoys you, you are looking in the mirror. The mirror will reflect a conflict that you have in your own thinking. As long as you look outside your problem for the answer, you will never resolve that external problem. It may become easier to solve when you look inside for a solution.

Your belief system is at the core of the problem. When you harbor one or more beliefs that perpetuate the relationship problem in its present form, it is the actual beliefs that are the real problem, hence the unhealthy relationship.

An example of this is, perhaps you have the belief that family members are always more important to you than any other relationships. I thought that when I was twelve years old. My sister was my best friend and one day she met a new girl in school and didn’t want me around any more. I was hurt and upset and could never understand why she didn’t like me any more. A big cavern had been created because I didn’t understand. To this very day, it was never resolved. Now, I am too grown up to care.

Perhaps family members treat you badly and you put up with it because they are your family. Ask yourself if you would tolerate this behavior if it came from a stranger. Ask yourself what beliefs you hold, that would make you choose to put up with unacceptable behavior from relatives. Are those beliefs really true and are they working for you.

I love my parents and siblings unconditionally but we are not really close. I believe that I was the black sheep and now we live very different lives. I am a flamboyant liberal and they are conservative. That’s just the way it is. We still visit occasionally and talk until midnight.

Our family is important to us when we grow up. That is where we learn the most. Our interactions with them are the classrooms of life. Each and every confrontation we have with them is a lesson that we will take with us when we leave the nest. I’ll actually go so far as to say that the purpose of human relationships may be the expansion of consciousness itself. Through the process of identifying and resolving relationship problems, we’re forced to deal with our internal incongruencies. And as we become more conscious on the inside, our relationships expand towards greater consciousness on the outside.

Relationships – Family Visits

It can be incredibly hard when visiting your family, as you might not have a great relationship with them. Your significant other might not get along with them either, and this is a problem that is known worldwide. How do you handle the thanksgiving dinners? Do you even have to deal with it? It really depends on how family oriented you happen to be, and whether you value your happiness or the happiness of others.

Most parents even though they said that everything that they do is for you simple lie. If you observe closely most of the things that they do, their actions, are geared toward making their own lives more enjoyable. This might be normal in a way but it is something that all children should understand, as it will make those trips more enjoyable. If your parents really do sacrifice themselves, and your visits are already excellent then that is awesome, but this is an exception to the rule and not the norm.

There are also siblings that you might have a problem sitting next too. Families are there, but it does not mean that the individuals within them have to be friends. Blood lines meant a lot in the olden days, and still do a bit if you are in a very wealthy or known family, but it means virtually nothing in the middle and lower classes. No one cares who you are based on your last name, and it is more important to try and just accomplish something on your own.

I feel that it is a choice whether you see your family, and should not sacrifice you happiness to see that if it is something that makes you feel sick to your stomach. There are things in our past that we remember which can make the process of going back home not so good. If you are forced by your family to attend, it might just be the sign that it is something you should not be doing in the first place. Unless it feels right to you, those actions will be remembered badly and cause you unneeded anxiety. Life presents us with enough problems on daily basis, and adding to them is just not smart.

If your significant other hates your family, or you do theirs do not feel bad about it. That really does not matter, and any talk about how families are much closer in other older countries is a simple joke. Each country has their own problems, and many of the traditional families are in actuality much tougher to deal with as the older members have gigantic egos and are tremendously stubbornly stuck in their ways. Unless you want to live your life according to someone else, it is up to you to take responsibility and figure out what is the right way for you.

Relationships – Family Dynamics

When do you start to change the family dynamics?

Is it you or the children to change?

Within each family there are different situation that is played out each day
and it is sometimes difficult for the families to understand or heal their differences.
Some of these family dynamic are the parents are not satisfy with their children’s behaviour and are constantly blaming their children for not acting, listening or not doing what are ask of them.

Many parents give to their children material things because the parents do not want their children to feel deprive, not good enough or miss out on what they did not get when they were small.
Some parents over give to their children and are later upset that their children is not doing things around the home such as cleaning their room or helping around the home when some thing need attending to because the parents feel that the children should know better.

Many parents feel that their children should be grateful and show it by cleaning up their room or helping around the home and sometimes resent their children.
If the parents did not give to their children to do chores around the home, or to participate in family clean up, it is difficult that the children will start doing this on their own.

Blaming the children for not cleaning up is not the answer.
Having the children earn the things they want by having them do chores around the home.
By setting up a list of things to do around the home that can be rotated every couple of weeks can be another easy way to remove boredom.

Teaching the children that with each action they take or not take has an impact on themselves and others.
How about changing the roles for a day where the children gets to be the parent and the parents gets to be the children and see what lessons can be learn from this.

Family and Friends are Important

Barbara Streisand sang, “People, people who need people, are the luckiest people in the world.” If it is true that people need people, then one should wonder:

— Why stress over maintaining relationships?

— Why the excuse that you are too busy to call or visit loved ones?

— Why the feeling of being overburdened with relationships?

— Why is your social calendar filled with one activity right after the other? Are you trying to please everyone?

— Are you constantly on the go and then complain about being too tired to finish projects or handle the paperwork?

— Could it be that you are overdosing on activities, people and things?

As valuable and important as these relational activities are, too much is stressful. An overflowing schedule of activities may appear on the surface to be abundant living, but most often, it is a means of running away from home-front problems. Be honest. Is one of these problems disorganization?

The secret of living abundantly is accepting and balancing the gift of relationships. Take some time to review the balance in your life. Do you maintain a healthy perspective on work, personal projects, and valued relationships while still making time for solitude?

Supportive Relationships

Balance means time for personal activities as well as time for family and friends. Implement some quiet time for monthly, weekly and daily planning. Do not shortchange yourself. Managing your time wisely will give you the opportunity to explore the gifts others bring into your life.

In a previous article titled, “A Journey of Success and Abundant Living,” I talked showed how ‘like attracts like’ and that you get what you focus on. Go back and review that article for a full understanding of living a rich life without overindulgence, overabundance or overdosing. Abundant living involves all aspects of life, including fostering and maintaining positive relationships. If you want to attract friends, then be a friend.

Nurturing Relationships

— Implement the art of remembering by keeping a birthday/anniversary list in your organizer or tickler file. View the tickler file Organizing Resources produces. You can find it on the Products Page of the website.

— Facilitate the art of conversation through face-to-face talks with family and friends.

— Never be too busy to call loved ones.

— Be a good listener. Pay attention to details.

— Be available whenever a friend is in need.

— Remember to say, “I’m sorry.”

— Have a gift drawer so you will always have a small token to express love and appreciation.

— Send flowers when important things happen to those you care about.

— Send special occasion cards and thank you notes.

— Value relationships for who they are, not what they do.

— Have friends from all walks of life.

— Express your feelings by using first person I statements rather than third-person you statements.

— Have a positive attitude. It is contagious.

Summary

The word nurture means to nourish. The act of nurturing promotes well-being for you and those around you. When you nourish people by what you say and do, you add value to their lives and your own. Be attentive and you will always find opportunities to nurture others every day.